Harvard Statistician: “You’re More Likely To Win Powerball Than The Browns Winning The Super Bowl

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – After long intensive hours of number crunching and insane calculating, Harvard University statistician and professor Peter Wang has released his study finding that you are actually more likely to win the 1.5 BILLION dollar Powerball than the Browns are to win the Super Bowl. Crazy huh?

According to Wang’s findings, a person who doesn’t purchase a Powerball ticket has of course, a 0.0% chance of winning. One who purchases 1 Powerball ticket, that number skyrockets at an astronomical rate to 0.000000001%. (This is a parody article but yes, that’s actually a factual statistic).

The Powerball is sneaky, having participants selected more numbers than your average lotto, but then picking another Powerball number on top of that, which just adds to the odds. Separate researchers also stated that one is more likely to drown to death or be killed by a lightning strike in their lifetime than win the Powerball jackpot. Oh did we mention the odds are still higher for you to be struck by lightning…WHILE drowning to death? What a strand of events. Not even the Browns have had that bad of luck over the past decade in the draft. ..and that’s where the Browns come into play.

Wang has calculated that the Browns have exactly a 0.000000000000000000000000146% chance of taking home the Lombardi trophy next season, regardless of who they draft with their 2nd overall pick. If the lottery is not won tonight, the prize money will grow to a whopping 2 Billion dollars and change, to which then, and only maybe then, will the numbers be in the Brown’ favor. .

 

5 COMMENTS

  1. NOW, PATRIOTS IS THE TIME. WE MUST EMPEACH Obummer NOW.
    THIS S.O.B
    SOLD ARMS TO THE IRANIANS IN EXCHANGE FOR ARE SAILORS RELEASE, AND HE
    WAS GOING TO SENT THE MONEY TO LEFTIST REBELS IN HIS HOME COUNTRY OF
    KENYA. ALL WITHOUT CONGRESS APPROVAL. EMPEACH NOW!!!!!!!

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