Opening Night NFL Drinking Game!

Well we’re not going to watch the game sober. Baseball season was LAST year, pal.


  • 6 seconds for each TD
  • 3 seconds for each FG
  • A YUUUUUUUGE sip if Al Michaels mentions his offseason “tribute” to Pat Summerall
  • 3 seconds for a white guy first down (Receiving or running. NOT passing)
  • 5 seconds for an Aaron Hernandez mention
  • 5 second drink every time someone uses the word “Elite” in reference to Joe Flacco
  • Open the valve on some Franzia for 5 seconds if they mention the NFL’s new “bag policy”
  • Full beer for “Super Bowl Hangover”
  • Shotgun a Busch if Michaels or Collinsworth mixes up Eric Decker and Wes Welker
  • 5 second drink if they find a way to shoehorn a Danny Amendola reference in
  • Two doses of Molly and pee all over your floor if they show Von Miller wearing hipster glasses
  • If they mention Elvis Dumervil you have to type an email to yourself saying “I Elvis Dumervil, agree to the terms of this contract.” Press send and chug fireball until it hits your inbox.
  • A mind eraser if they mention the concussion settlement



  • Full drink if you see the top row of Al Michaels’ teeth at ANY point during the broadcast
  • 5 second drink for each Tebow mention
  • 5 seconds for every replay/mention of the Rahim Moore play from last year
  • Give a healthy swig every 30 seconds once the game starts until you can’t see the smoke from whatever fireworks show/Maroon Five concert just took place
  • 10 second chug if they mention Wes Welker’s wife or the leash Bill Belichick kept him on
  •  *PREGAME BONUS on NFL NETWORK* Half a beer if Mayock mentions fantasy football in a completely incorrect, irrelevant way, i.e. “Fantathy owners will be thad to hear that Montee Ball has not eckthelled in path protecthun on blithis thith pretheethon.”
  • You have to go out and buy weed from a stranger if someone mentions the fact that pot is legal in Denver (*note* Goodell would rather show “Emmanuelle In Space” during a Primetime NFL game than have Michael Irvin even think about moderating a debate on the merits of legalized marijuana)
  • Any time there’s a measurement, you measure how full your beer is compared to the person closest to you. This is the NFL, everything’s a competition to offer tribute to The Shield. Whoever has more beer drinks until they’re even.
  • With every Ray Lewis mention you must read a line on the label of your drink in crazy Ray Lewis pregame pep-talk voice. “THIS….. is the famous BUDWEISER BEER… We know of NO BRAND produced by ANY OTHA brewer which (whisper) costs so much (/whisper) TO BREW AND AGE MOTHERFUCKER!!! TO GOD GOES THE GLORY!!!! (Unintelligible screaming and passionate crying)”
  • Or you can just drink nice beers at your own pace and relax for a soak in the mental hot-tub of knowing that the NFL is back for the next 5 months

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    I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!

    In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the captial of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.

    The Jewish people deny Jesus as their Messiah and have stated that their Messiah has been identified and is waiting to be revealed. They say this man will rule the world under a one world religion called “spiritualism”.

    They even printed a coin to raise money for the Temple with Donald Trumps face on the front and with king Cyrus'(who built the second Temple) behind him. On the back of the coin is an image of the third Temple.

    The Bible says this false Messiah who seats himself in the Third Temple will be thee antichrist that will bring about the Great Tribulation, though the Jewish people believe he will bring about world peace. It will be a false peace for a period of time. You can watch interviews of Jewish Rabbi’s in Israel speaking of these things. They have their plans set in place. It is only years away!

    More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically Revelation 13:16-18:

    He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

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    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

    Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name.” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we need two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.



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