Opening Night NFL Drinking Game!

drink
Well we’re not going to watch the game sober. Baseball season was LAST year, pal.

TAKE

  • 6 seconds for each TD
  • 3 seconds for each FG
  • A YUUUUUUUGE sip if Al Michaels mentions his offseason “tribute” to Pat Summerall
  • 3 seconds for a white guy first down (Receiving or running. NOT passing)
  • 5 seconds for an Aaron Hernandez mention
  • 5 second drink every time someone uses the word “Elite” in reference to Joe Flacco
  • Open the valve on some Franzia for 5 seconds if they mention the NFL’s new “bag policy”
  • Full beer for “Super Bowl Hangover”
  • Shotgun a Busch if Michaels or Collinsworth mixes up Eric Decker and Wes Welker
  • 5 second drink if they find a way to shoehorn a Danny Amendola reference in
  • Two doses of Molly and pee all over your floor if they show Von Miller wearing hipster glasses
  • If they mention Elvis Dumervil you have to type an email to yourself saying “I Elvis Dumervil, agree to the terms of this contract.” Press send and chug fireball until it hits your inbox.
  • A mind eraser if they mention the concussion settlement

 

GIVE

  • Full drink if you see the top row of Al Michaels’ teeth at ANY point during the broadcast
  • 5 second drink for each Tebow mention
  • 5 seconds for every replay/mention of the Rahim Moore play from last year
  • Give a healthy swig every 30 seconds once the game starts until you can’t see the smoke from whatever fireworks show/Maroon Five concert just took place
  • 10 second chug if they mention Wes Welker’s wife or the leash Bill Belichick kept him on
  •  *PREGAME BONUS on NFL NETWORK* Half a beer if Mayock mentions fantasy football in a completely incorrect, irrelevant way, i.e. “Fantathy owners will be thad to hear that Montee Ball has not eckthelled in path protecthun on blithis thith pretheethon.”
  • You have to go out and buy weed from a stranger if someone mentions the fact that pot is legal in Denver (*note* Goodell would rather show “Emmanuelle In Space” during a Primetime NFL game than have Michael Irvin even think about moderating a debate on the merits of legalized marijuana)
  • Any time there’s a measurement, you measure how full your beer is compared to the person closest to you. This is the NFL, everything’s a competition to offer tribute to The Shield. Whoever has more beer drinks until they’re even.
  • With every Ray Lewis mention you must read a line on the label of your drink in crazy Ray Lewis pregame pep-talk voice. “THIS….. is the famous BUDWEISER BEER… We know of NO BRAND produced by ANY OTHA brewer which (whisper) costs so much (/whisper) TO BREW AND AGE MOTHERFUCKER!!! TO GOD GOES THE GLORY!!!! (Unintelligible screaming and passionate crying)”
  • Or you can just drink nice beers at your own pace and relax for a soak in the mental hot-tub of knowing that the NFL is back for the next 5 months

Read more: http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2013/09/your-official-nfl-opening-night-drinking-rules.html#ixzz2e3K6xrs7

 

67 COMMENTS

  1. Howdy! Someone in my Myspace group shared this site with us so I came to give it a look. I’m definitely enjoying the information. I’m bookmarking and will be tweeting this to my followers! Exceptional blog and terrific design and style.|

  2. 176588 417439Generally I dont learn post on blogs, nevertheless I wish to say that this write-up extremely pressured me to try and do it! Your writing taste has been surprised me. Thank you, quite great post. 278498

  3. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now each time a comment is added I get three emails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove people from that service?

    Thanks!

  4. 926768 696659After examine a couple of of the weblog posts inside your internet site now, and I truly like your manner of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark internet site list and might be checking back soon. Pls take a appear at my internet site as effectively and let me know what you feel. 106976

  5. I am not sure where you are getting your information,
    but great topic. I needs to spend some time learning
    more or understanding more. Thanks for magnificent info I was looking for this information for my mission.

  6. 329525 446252Directories such given that the Yellow Websites require not list them, so unlisted numbers strength sometimes be alive a lot more harm than financial assistance. 986959

  7. Interesting blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere?
    A theme like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog jump
    out. Please let me know where you got your theme.
    Kudos

  8. Hello! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with hackers?

    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing several weeks of hard work due
    to no data backup. Do you have any solutions to protect against hackers?

  9. 56941 374001I take great pleasure in reading articles with quality content material. This post is one such writing that I can appreciate. Maintain up the very good function. 861414

  10. I believe everything composed made a bunch of sense.
    However, what about this? what if you were to create a killer post title?
    I ain’t saying your information is not good., however what if you
    added a title that grabbed people’s attention? I mean Opening Night
    NFL Drinking Game! – Daily Snark is kinda boring.
    You ought to look at Yahoo’s front page and note how
    they create article titles to get people
    to open the links. You might add a video or a picture or two to grab readers interested about what you’ve got to say.

    In my opinion, it might bring your posts a little livelier.

  11. What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I
    have found It absolutely useful and it has aided
    me out loads. I hope to give a contribution & help different users like its aided me.
    Great job.

  12. After looking into a number of the blog posts on your website, I really appreciate your way of writing a blog.

    I saved it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking
    back in the near future. Please check out my website too and let me
    know your opinion.

  13. I seriously love your blog.. Pleasant colors & theme.

    Did you develop this amazing site yourself?
    Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my very own website and want to find out where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called.
    Kudos!

  14. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is a very well written article.

    I will make sure to bookmark it and return to read more
    of your useful info. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.

  15. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I do think that you ought to publish more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but generally people do not talk about such
    subjects. To the next! Best wishes!!

  16. An intriguing discussion is definitely worth comment.
    There’s no doubt that that you ought to publish more about this topic, it may not
    be a taboo subject but usually people don’t talk about
    such issues. To the next! Kind regards!!

  17. Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just
    your articles? I mean, what you say is valuable and all.
    However think about if you added some great photos or video clips to give your posts more, “pop”!
    Your content is excellent but with images and videos, this blog could certainly
    be one of the greatest in its field. Superb blog!

  18. That is really attention-grabbing, You are an overly skilled blogger.
    I have joined your rss feed and look ahead to in search
    of extra of your fantastic post. Also, I’ve shared your
    website in my social networks

  19. Definitely consider that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be on the web the easiest factor
    to have in mind of. I say to you, I definitely
    get annoyed whilst people think about worries that they plainly do not realize about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top as neatly as outlined out the entire thing without having side effect ,
    other folks could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more.
    Thanks

  20. I have read several good stuff here. Definitely worth bookmarking
    for revisiting. I wonder how a lot effort you put to make one of these excellent informative web site.

  21. Hey, how’s it going?

    I want to pass along some very important news that everyone needs to hear!

    In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the captial of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.

    The Jewish people deny Jesus as their Messiah and have stated that their Messiah has been identified and is waiting to be revealed. They say this man will rule the world under a one world religion called “spiritualism”.

    They even printed a coin to raise money for the Temple with Donald Trumps face on the front and with king Cyrus'(who built the second Temple) behind him. On the back of the coin is an image of the third Temple.

    The Bible says this false Messiah who seats himself in the Third Temple will be thee antichrist that will bring about the Great Tribulation, though the Jewish people believe he will bring about world peace. It will be a false peace for a period of time. You can watch interviews of Jewish Rabbi’s in Israel speaking of these things. They have their plans set in place. It is only years away!

    More importantly, the power that runs the world wants to put a RFID microchip in our body making us total slaves to them. This chip matches perfectly with the Mark of the Beast in the Bible, more specifically Revelation 13:16-18:

    He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.

    Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.

    Referring to the last days, this could only be speaking of a cashless society, which we have yet to see, but are heading towards. Otherwise, we could still buy or sell without the mark amongst others if physical money was still currency. RFID microchip implant technology will be the future of a one world cashless society containing digital currency. It will be implanted in the right-hand or the forehead, and we cannot buy or sell without it! We must grow strong in Jesus. AT ALL COSTS, DO NOT TAKE IT!

    Then a third angel followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships the beast and his image, and receives his mark on his forehead or on his hand, he himself shall also drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out full strength into the cup of His indignation. He shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascends forever and ever; and they have no rest day or night, who worship the beast and his image, and whoever receives the mark of his name.” (Revelation 14:9-11).

    People have been saying the end is coming for many years, but we need two key things. One, the Third Temple, and two, the technology for a cashless society to fulfill the prophecy of the Mark of the Beast.

    VISIT http://WWW.BIBLEFREEDOM.COM TO SEE PROOF FOR THESE THINGS AND MUCH MORE! TELL YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. SHARE THIS MESSAGE!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here