DENVER, CO – The football world was shocked when allegations made in a report released by Al Jazeera in light of a soon to be released documentary about the dark side of sports tied the great innocent Peyton Manning’s name to human growth hormone. Now granted, the HGH was alleged to have been shipped to Manning’s house, handled by his wife, but then again that’s the perfect cover up.
In fear of “random” drug testing being handed out by the league, Manning’s physique has transformed dramatically, with the 230-pound QB shrinking to 132-pound twig. I’m no expert, but if this isn’t prove Manning was using HGH most if not all of his career then I don’t know what will, I mean, Hellen Keller could see this from a mile away. If she and Ray Charles needed EVEN MORE proof, what about when Peyton can easily lift the very piece of Papa Johns pizza JJ Watt can’t even lift to his mouth – you can’t explain that.
Despite the incredibly telling transformation, Goodell has yet to comment on the matter, as he is too busy trying to find a way to suspend Brady, in fear that he’ll have to embarrassingly hand over “The Cheater” the Lombardi trophy and most likely the Super Bowl MVP trophy come February 7th.
Manning has of course denied all reports, going as far to call them “Complete garbage.” The 67-year-old QB will take on Brady and the Patriots this Sunday with a ticket to Super Bowl 50 on the line, and it will be interesting to, forget the plantar fascia, see whether Peyton will be able to lift the ball and throw it over his offensive linemen. Sources close to the Broncos said Manning’s arm has started to bend when he holds the ball out to hand it off and his chicken legs crumbling as he takes his usual million steps looking while going through his progressions.