BREAKING: President Trump Thanks Ohio For Vote By Sending The Browns To The CFL

trumpBased on previous election, Ohio has been the most critical state for a presidential hopeful to win in order to secure the presidency and has been the best indicator of such out of all fifty.

During election night, Trump was not going to let it slip away.

Trump captured the presidency via electoral vote, stunning the nation who thought surely Hillary was all but a few hours away from her trip to the oval office.

Trump told reporters that much of his success in the election was due to capturing Ohio, and how he did it was ingenious. He was able to pull of the swing state by promising the Cleveland Browns fans that he would pull the team NFL and save the city from it’s purgatory of embarrassment. His plan involved sending the Browns to the Canadian Football League on his first day in office.

“I’m going to grab this team by the pussy,” Trump said. “and toss them across the border. It’s Canada or Mexico, and Mexico doesn’t have a football league.”

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