BUFFALO, NY- Accountant Wilbur Stevens along with unemployed slacker Marty Finderhues were among hundreds of fans who knelt during yet another awful performance by the Bills during their last game.
Seven nuns, a dog catcher and three construction workers also took a knee at some point during all four quarters of the Bills lackluster game as a marked public protest of sorts aimed at the continued mediocrity of their team.
“My parents paid good money for these seats!” proclaimed Finderhues, who finds himself in between paying jobs but posts on Reddit under the moniker DeesOutForHarambe93320 in his spare time. “We should not have to see these guys act like bums day in and day out. My life sucks enough as it is in Buffalo, the least we can do is live vicariously through our NFL team, but they suck at life as much as we do.”
Construction worker Timothy Taylor agreed. “Every day I work on a crappy brand new house, making something to live in for these losers who make millions to not catch balls or run the proper defense. How hard is it guard somebody, really? We will kneel until it all gets better. It may take life times, but we deserve better treatment. Beers cost 12 dollars and we have to put up with this. At least let us get drunk for cheap! Then maybe I won’t remember how bad they are!”
It is not yet known how long this protest will continue, but it is expected that these fans will be kneeling sometime through at least the year 2056.
