CLEVELAND, OH – The Cleveland Police Department is dealing with an unprecedented issue today. At around 10:30am ET, the department received numerous calls about a thick fog like wave of smoke that reeked of marijuana engulfing the city.
“The calls just started flooding in,” Police Chief Mark Jaxson told reporters. “There were incidents of cars crashing into each other, planes not being able to take off, people not even being able to distinguish between the sidewalk and street.”
Police have gathered enough statements and evidence to assume that the smoke was caused when Manziel reportedly opened up a window in Gordon’s apartment.
After tracking down the source of where the smoke was coming from, they located the two’s apartment. Manziel had infamously moved in with the Browns wide receiver who is currently serving a year-long suspension for violating the leagues substance abuse policy numerous times. The troubled two, who flew back in from partaking in their usualy activities of not giving a shit at Coachella this weekend told police, “I mean, what’s there to lose? I [Gordon] just failed another test for weed and this guy over here nobody wants his ass, so f*ck it, it’s 4/20.”
Police snapped this photo upon walking into the foyer of the apartment, ironically enough, apartment #420.
The city plans on letting the smoke fade out slowly, similar to every sports franchise in Cleveland’s championship hopes, but there is no word yet whether the punishment from Roger Goodell or the police will be stiffer.