FOXBOROUGH, MA – Bill Belichick, hoodie and all, laid sitting back in his recliner, sipping a shirley temple in his hand draped in Super Bowl rings late Tuesday night, watching a dose of SportsCenter, when news broke of reports that a video taken by Lakers guard D’Angelo Russell had been leaked. That video was that of Russell filming his LA teammate Nick Young confessing that he cheated on girlfriend Iggy Azalea (which to his defense, who wouldn’t).
With that, Bill picked up the controller and flipped the channel, murmuring under his breath “what an idio…” when suddenly it hit him.
ESPN’s Mike Reiss is reporting that the Patriots, head coach Bill Belichick in particular are interested in bringing in D’Angelo Russell, not because he can play football, but because of his spying abilities.
Russell who though attended Ohio State has no formal training regarding intelligence seeking operations but the one video was enough for the Patriots coach.
Bellichick told Reiss when asked about the matter, “Yeah, I mean Roger and his buds from the NFL have if out for me a Kraft, they know somethings up and I’m not about to give away any more draft picks.”
According to the Elias Sports Bureau, that statement marks the 3rd longest sentence spoken to reports in Bellichick’s career since joining the Patriots.
It’s likely Belichick learned his lesson and can no longer cheat with pivotal members of the team.
“The guy shoots cellphone video better than he does a basketball; we think he can be a good addition to our organization, ” said Bellichick with his signature expression of sheer nothing on his face.
Sources say Russell’s tasks in New England could start as early as next week, venturing to various team’s facilities to monitor their draft prospects, coming back with video evidence. Russell will surely be sent out once training camps start to gather video of plays, schemes and more.
Russell and his agent Aaron Mintz have not yet commented on the matter, but we’re sure D’Angelo will take any opportunity to jump of that sorry ship that’s now known as the Los Angeles Lakers.