TAKE
- 6 seconds for each TD
- 3 seconds for each FG
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- 3 seconds for a white guy first down (Receiving or running. NOT passing)
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- 5 second drink if they find a way to shoehorn a Danny Amendola reference in
- Two doses of Molly and pee all over your floor if they show Von Miller wearing hipster glasses
- If they mention Elvis Dumervil you have to type an email to yourself saying “I Elvis Dumervil, agree to the terms of this contract.” Press send and chug fireball until it hits your inbox.
- A mind eraser if they mention the concussion settlement
GIVE
- Full drink if you see the top row of Al Michaels’ teeth at ANY point during the broadcast
- 5 second drink for each Tebow mention
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- You have to go out and buy weed from a stranger if someone mentions the fact that pot is legal in Denver (*note* Goodell would rather show “Emmanuelle In Space” during a Primetime NFL game than have Michael Irvin even think about moderating a debate on the merits of legalized marijuana)
- Any time there’s a measurement, you measure how full your beer is compared to the person closest to you. This is the NFL, everything’s a competition to offer tribute to The Shield. Whoever has more beer drinks until they’re even.
- With every Ray Lewis mention you must read a line on the label of your drink in crazy Ray Lewis pregame pep-talk voice. “THIS….. is the famous BUDWEISER BEER… We know of NO BRAND produced by ANY OTHA brewer which (whisper) costs so much (/whisper) TO BREW AND AGE MOTHERFUCKER!!! TO GOD GOES THE GLORY!!!! (Unintelligible screaming and passionate crying)”
- Or you can just drink nice beers at your own pace and relax for a soak in the mental hot-tub of knowing that the NFL is back for the next 5 months
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In December of 2017, Donald Trump made history by recognizing Jerusalem as the captial of Israel. Why is this big news? Because by this the Jewish people of Israel are now able to press forward in bringing about the Third Temple prophesied in the Bible.
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