NEWTON, MA – Tom Brady is currently being punished by Roger Goodell by being forced to spend four weeks getting paid while not working and watching football with his supermodel of a wife. Sounds excruciating.
The Patriots sat out the third game of his suspension for “more probably than not deflating footballs” after an AFC Championship that felt like it was 14 years ago.
Against all odds, Belichick and the Patriots somehow pulled another QB out of their ass, this time a rookie 3rd-stringer and tore apart the Texans.
Now granted, knowing the other team’s plays help the Patriots, but even so, it’s undeniably impressive.
Reports out of Patriots camp even say Belichick only scored 27 points, having the sure-handed Julian Edelman drop a touchdown in the back of the end zone late to not make Brady look bad with the team killing it in his absence.
Following the Thursday night win, Brady went on record reportedly saying, “You know what… why. Why even bother? I sit here on my couch drinking my flat beers in my Uggs getting blown by my wife watching our opponents blow us. Plus there’s no chance of Roger accusing me of shit. Also, did you see how we’re playing? I taught those guys so well, Garoppolo and Brisket…Brisket? Is that is name? Who knows. My backup’s backup.”
In a twist of fate, Brady also revealed during the interview that he intends to sit out the rest of the 2016 season, and jump back on the ship when the Patriots get to the Super Bowl.
“Where’s the Super Bowl this year,” Tom asked. “Houston? Oh yeah, if tonight was any reminder anything we do associated with Houston is a joke. We’ll win no prob.”