Cowboys Great Michael Irvin Says Watching Ezekiel Elliott Makes Him Want To Masterbate

It’s safe to say even through a sample size of six games Cowboys fans are excited when it comes to their star rooking running back. Ezekiel Elliott is casually off to only the second best start by a rookie at his position in NFL history, and even Cowboys greats are buying in.

Hall of Fame Cowboys WR and sports commentator Michael Irvin appeared on 105.3 The Fan and gave his thoughts on Elliott and the current state of the Cowboys:

“I’m telling you, when I listen to this boy talk about running the football like that, it just makes me want to go in the bathroom and spend some time by myself,” Irvin said. “I just love it so much.”

“He walks up and down that sideline, when he’s giving everyone fives, you hear what he says? ‘Physical! Let’s by physical! We’re gonna be physical!’ His interviews, ‘We’re gonna out-physical everybody.’ Physical physical physical,” Irvin told the station. “You match that up with that offensive line, that mentality from the running back with that offensive line as good as they are, you have connectivity. They say ‘all we gotta do is lay on em.’ He’s gonna come and lay on em. If I blocked it for 1 yard, he’ll make it 4. If I block for 4, he’ll make it 60 because they have that connectivity.”

“Whatever everybody’s been doing throughout the Metroplex, keep doing it! Keep doing exactly what you’ve been doing. The mojo’s working.”

Next time you see Michael Irvin bolt off to the bathroom, he may not be doing a line, but rather pleasuring himself to Ezekiel Elliott.