Caption this image taken of Patriots head coach Bill Belichick taken during the 2nd quarter of their matchup vs the Eagles for a chance to win an authentic Tom Brady autographed official NFL “Duke” football valued around $1000 (nflshop.com)
(Click image to enlarge)
.and yes, it’s fully inflated.
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This is how you start a wrestling match, a collar and elbow tie up!
“Its only going to be a little bit deflated”
“No, I said Turkey and Mayo on Wheat!”
Now that you’re a real referee, you gotta know that you’re supposed to let us win!
“Listen to me: we cannot lose to the fucking Eagles after last week.”
Signed, a Pats fan.
Don’t worry, us Eagles are known for throwing it away so -_-
Props for that punt block, man. Our defense is actual garbage.
I see you’re new around here, let me tell you how this works.
Damn didn’t even see this
Let me show you a real holding call!!
Look at me. Look at me. I’m the referee now.
Listen to me…im the captain now
“if anyone touches Brady like this, throw the flag. $100 for everyone you throw”
If you drop that flag one more time for no reason, I swear my kneecap will turn your pelvis into powder.
I hope you don’t mind my BO…Imma gon be standing next to you all game……
If you were me, then I’d be you and I’d use your body to get to the top!
“We’re doing our job. Now do yours.”
We need to get you a set of balls.
These are not the cheaters you’re looking for…
This is my first time dancing with a girl. Am I doing it right?
“Middle school dance be like”
Listen here sweetheart, do you realize who we are?
Hey baby… now this is holding. See the difference?
“You are starting to feel sleepyyyy… the patriots will win”
You…are my number one…guy!
“But the DE touched Brady like this! How can you not call that?”
I know he has a penis but he acts like a girl. So go easy honey!!
This is how I look Tom in the eyes each night before bed. Does this excite you?
Breaking News: NFL Investigating Possible ESP.
Didn’t you get your cheque in the mail?
“I know you’re new here, but the refs are supposed to give me the win.”
Listen up sweet tits. If you’d like, you can come give my balls a squeeze at halftime. Right now there’s a football game going on, so I’m gonna need you to head back to the kitchen and finish my samich.
For the last time, your uniform does not make you look fat
There are a few things you need to know to work for the Patriots
Bill: Let the PATS win and I’ll suck your dick
ref: …How’d you know?!
Yes I’m married, but you know I’m a cheater! 😉
“Look at me I am the referee now”
“Lady, feel the power of the Dark Side, if you don’t make calls in our favor, I will deflate you!!” lol
Tom didn’t deflate my balls baby
You see Sarah, the girl is supposed to put her arms HERE when she hugs a guy…
You must be new around here
now put your hands on my hips and let’s boogie
“We’re on to Cincinnati.”
How’d you cheat your way out of the kitchen, and not get caught?
When her ex-Marine father is the chaperone at the school dance
I know it was you, Fredo
“I was there when this dance was invented.”
This is not the kitchen young lady!
Join The Patriot empire, young one. It is your destiny.
Just make sure you keep that rag in your pants tonight.
Okay, your job is to be an NFL referee. I want you to pretend to watch over the game, while slowly making your way over to the Eagles sideline. After you have secured the Eagles playbook by putting it under your hat, walk back over to the goal posts on the side of the field, and trip. I’ll get it as we are running back for halftime. If you complete this mission, you will be granted the ultimate opportunity: The chance to kill Rodger Godell with an air pump needle.
“It’s an honor to meet the first female NFL ref!”
“It’s an honor to meet the man who signs all our checks!”
Please tell me you have a tampon Brady left his at home
For the last time, I did not order a giant trampoline!
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena HEY MACARENA!
“want to see me make this pencil disappear?”
“Listen honey, just because I can grab Tom like this doesnt mean they can!”
New England’s Newest controversial form of cheating: Giving shitty and awkward shoulder massages to officials. Rules state that only good massages are to be illegal.
Bill Belichick? More like Bill Scare-a-chick…
“How much is Goodell paying you?”
“Do you know who I am?”
4 Superbowl wins later and I still can’t get a woman do dance with me. It’s like high school all over again.
I don’t know what Goodell is paying you but I’ll double it.
“Do You Trust Me?”
I’ll show you some deflated balls
I know you might be taller than me but may I have this dance
For the last time cupcake, we are the patriots,we get the calls.
“I thought I told you not to snitch on me for spygate!”
These aren’t the balls you are looking for.
I know vertical stripes are slimming, but you look PHAT, girl.
Look, just keep doing what I say and you’ll see your grandmother again, safe and sound.
“Mmmm… If I were 58 again…”
If my balls seem deflated, I can assure you that it’s no big deal
Brady is a big baby so let your mother instinct’s kick in and protect him.
This is NOT pass interference!!!
if you go for a review under my hoodie, you’ll see that my balls are fully inflated.
I told you, these balls aren’t gonna deflate themselves!
Since when did they hire sideline maids? Ill take a ham and cheese sandwich, don’t forget the mayo.
It’s Tom. You remember me from the club, right? OK. So, my real name is not Tom Brady.
I can’t lose 2 games in a row… I need a hug
“Hey Baby, do you want a taste of my chimichanga. I promise you that its fully inflated.”
Does this look like a kitchen to you?
These aren’t the droids you’re looking for…
“Do your job!”
“These aren’t the balls you are looking for. We can go about our business. Move along. “
“Did you just queef? I definitely heard a queef.”
“Sarah, I’m totally Belichickin you out.”
Now repeat after me, “Nobody touches my quarterback!”
When the girl you ask to the dance says yes but her dad is the chaperone … “raise those hands,boy!”
“Our fouls are not the ones you are looking for”
You don’t have any, why must you check our balls?
“Look, I know you’re new to this but either you blow the call or you blow me.”
Did you seriously just call offsides on the Washington Bullets? They stopped existing almost 20 years ago, and they’re not even the right sport!
We’re on to the dance floor
Can you play tight end for me
Listen lady, you know how you aren’t supposed to hit a woman. So, everytime Brady gets hit, you THROW THAT FLAG!
Does someone need a hug? *said in Buddy the Elf’s voice*
“Ok…So remember what you did for Denver last week?”
“I was gonna kiss you but then I realized you’re not my daughter”
Beli-check yourself before you wreck yourself!
Belichek. Look honey, if we don’t get the calls Tom will cry and we can’t have that we just can’t have that
“I know ….Tom’s dreamy …right ? “
Ala Batman 1989…”Remember… you… are my number one… guy!
You do not know the power of the Dark Side!
I told you, I’m not a scientist, but how are you supposed to throw a 12 pound ball?
“After this slow dance, ya wanna go burn one under the bleachers?”
Every 8th grade dance ever…
“I should have cut my sleeves. This feels awkward.”
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Son when you grow up and old enough to be intimate with a girl. You want to start by putting your arms around her like this
Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t take bribes.
I told you to cut the crust off of my sandwich!
“Look in to my eyes, you’re new around here right? So just do like the other refs and throw the flag when my play calls don’t pan out, got it? ”
You could be the first NFL female Ref to help me cheat and get another W!
“Sarah, will you be my Beli-CHICK?”
Look that Jenkins pick should of been called for pass interference. I like you because I’m divorced but you guys screwed up last week in the 49ners game. Don’t screw me this week.
I’m going to kiss you like I kiss my daughter!!!
Yes, deflated balls still jingle.
You see the hoodie sits right here….. feel the power of the hoodie…
C’mon Sarah, it’s not like I haven’t cheated before
Ok, ok, I’ll pay you after the game
Why do you guys get cameras and we dont?
It’s ok no matter what bad calls you make tonight, somehow it will be blamed on me.
Is this a joke or is this real life?
does my breathe smell like cheato’s?
Hey girl why so tense ? If you call a Patriots favored game tonight I’ll do more than just rub these shoulders of yours
Ref: There will be no cheating today Bill.
Bill: Well Clarice- have the lambs stopped screaming?
Change the call or Aaron hernandez will come for you.
just stand on me and let me take the lead
“If I hear the word Deflategate, one more time…”
“Bring it in for the real thing!”
“We’ve already done OUR part – videotaped their practices, stolen their signals, messed with their headsets, and deflated the footballs! Now you need to do YOUR part!!”
“We’re losing to the Eagles… DO SOMETHING!!!”
There are multiples fouls on the play… Loose Ball Foul, late hitting on the ref, she’s declined… Personal Foul, Illegal Contact below the waist, also declined… those penalties have her upset, result of the play is First and Shot Down.
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We’re losing to The Eagles, fix this shit!
McNally isn’t picking up! What the fuck do I do!?
I will talk to them about changing the flag colors to match your shoes but I need you to delete those text messages from me and Tom first!!
The kitchen is the other way!
I posted this earlier, but it vanished… (?) “We’ve already done OUR part – videotaped their practices, stolen their signals, messed with their headsets, and deflated the footballs! Now you need to do YOUR part!!”
“You’re deflating my balls ref! YOU’RE DEFLATING MY BALLS!!!”
Lisent to me, I know you are new here and not yet fully onboard on how things work on the NFL but the job of the referees to help us cheat to win.
“so if i give you a raise you back to helping us right?”
“It doesn’t inflate itself”
I told you if you sleep with Tom to totally make up rules in our favor now go out there and make it happen
No I’m pretty sure this is how Joe Biden massages shoulders
Theres NO CRYING in Football!
Bill let’s get this straight, my hat ain’t coming off till my flags are all gone.
Eagles are beating us and you’re still reluctant to make the “right” calls!
“Why would I want a Tom Brady autographed anything?”
When the first NFL female ref blows a call, and it takes everything you’ve got to keep your eyes “up here” and not call her “honey”
“This is how you humans ‘hug’, right?”
This is how I used to dance in middle school, with your mom!
Now I need you to deflate some balls…..
Do you salsa?
“Not only will I go down in history, I will go down on you !”
You can’t throw a flag for something that happened three years ago
“I see my Jedi mind tricks don’t work on the female referees.”
How does a lifetime supply of Kraft singles sound? Really, I know a guy.
I guess a caption would read:
Bill belichick attempts to bribe the NFL’s only female official with a lifetime supply of Kraft singles.
“Do you want to know how I got these scars???”
Bill, I don’t need you Belisplaining to me.
#microaggression #NotAllCoaches
“I told you i would pay you later now get back to the balls.”
Listen sweetheart!! I told you once a cheater always a cheater!!! I’m not gonna change
“I’m running out of ways to cheat”
First of all put your arm around my waist and then we will start the music!
FOR THE LAST TIME, DEFLATE THE BALLS OR NO PAYMENT!!
“Blow me, or the ball . . . your call.”
Look…Belicheck I’m charging you 5 yards with encroachment. If you try it again, I will push you back another 10 yards into the stands and charge you with holding…
Keep it up an I’ll have Tom deflate your balls!!
“I know this is your first year and you probably don’t know yet… but we’re the Patriots and you’re supposed to give us those calls and help us win”
And This Is Why There Are No Girl Referees
We were 1 minute away from a perfect season…I need a hug…
“Due to NFL sexual harassment policy’s, I can only hug you from here”.
Jr high school slow dance!
believe ME, those are deflated, seriously ….I know
“Look, spaghetti arms. This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don’t go into yours, you don’t go into mine. You gotta hold the frame.” – Dirty Dancing
Look, you’re a female, and I’m a male, and we both know about soft balls. Just ignore them like we both do.
C’mon now! We spend spend way too much on the college fund for the ref’s children, you know you cant make that call!
I don’t have any cash on me… after Denver I can’t pay you guys up front anymore any. Just do your job.
I don’t have any cash on me… after Denver I can’t pay you guys up front anymore anyway. Just do your job.
That was a bad call. How would you like to have your BALLS deflated.?
“I’m begging you please…..Check my balls!!!”
So can I get y’all number!
You let me bring my video camera I’ll have Tom deflate his balls with you..
Have you ever even WATCHED a real football game, dear?
There’s no way it’s mine cause you can’t get pregnant from anal….
Bill Cosby got to you too??
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