These jokes write themselves.

By now, I’m sure you know that Kristin Cavallari, who use to be on that MTV show called The Hills is married to former Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler.

Well the two have their own reality show on E! and on the teaser of the latest season, Cavallari dropped a major bombshell of just how much Jay Cutler sucks:

Here’s what Cavallari said: 

“I had, like, major clogged ducts,” she began. In case you aren’t a mama, having “clogged” or plugged ducts means the milk ducts in your breasts are blocked and typically swollen, making it harder for milk to get through. It’s actually a pretty common thing new moms go through. But alas, it makes breast-feeding painful, so Kristin enlisted the help of her husband to fix that.

“Jay had to get them out for me,” Kristin revealed to a table of stunned faces. “Sucking harder than he’s ever sucked. And you know what? Saved my life.”