Patriots Being Investigated For Coin Toss, Brady Looking At Possible 4-Game Suspension

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GLENDALE, AZ – There’s only one way for Roger Goodell to explain the mockery of the coin toss which occurred at the end of the Cardinals – Packers game, the Patriots.

Those damn pesky, cheating Patriots at it again, trying to mess with a game on the other side of the country to sway who they’ll likely face in the Super Bowl barring they reach it, of course leaning towards the banged up and relatively struggling Green Bay Packers. Patriots fans commenting on which team from this game they’d want to play if they were to meet in the Super Bowl answered with the Packers almost every time, saying it would take a hail mary to beat th..oh wait.

Commissioner Goodell released a statement at 12:27am ET on Sunday morning saying it’s “more probably than not” that Tom Brady and coach Bill Belichick were the ring leaders of the coin toss operation and will launch a proper investigation with a paid, third-party private investigator.

No word yet on whether Brady will be facing a suspension, but sources say Brady will be suspended for four games just for the hell of it, and then have that suspension retracted once the NFL realizes they have no facts.

Goodell and the league office will speak more about the matter later Sunday morning, per source.