Packers Devise Genius Plan To Keep Eddy Lacy From Becoming Obese This Offseason

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GREEN BAY, WI – Eddie Lacy may be literally eating himself out of the NFL.

Lacy’s weight issues were first publicly documented this season when in October he was benched by the Packers because of pictures circulating that showed him looking out of shape, though he said added that not every running back can look like Adrian Peterson.

Lacy has gone on a roller coaster of weights, from tip top shape to the shape is EDP…

Following Green Bay’s heartbreaking loss to the Cardinals on Saturday, Mike McCarthy met with reporters in Green Bay early this week to address his concerns heading into the off-season. Inevitably, Lacy and his weight struggles came up.

McCarthy told reporters, “Well, I mean [Eddie Lacy], he’s got a lot of work to do. I think I’m stating the obvious. His offseason last year was not good enough and he never recovered from it. I had a chance to talk to Eddie today and that was pretty much the majority of our whole conversation. So he has to get it done because he cannot play at the weight that he played at this year.”

Which…summarized is basically stop getting fat or you won’t play for us next season. Lacy responded to his coaches comments with, “Sorry coach, it runs in my family,” to which his coach then promptly said, “No Eddie, nobody runs in your family, you fat ass”

McCarthy and the Packers coaching staff have gotten together now that the season has ended, in efforts to find a way to get Eddie to stop eating. Friends close to Lacy say the RB is up to about 6 1/2 cheeseburgers a day, and his girlfriend Tamara Toussaint added that he sneaks out at night to go to get a bucket of KFC, eating it in his driveway. The team devised a plan to take a stick and attach it to Lacy’s back with a string tied to a cheeseburger hanging off the end. They said ever since they tried it out Thursday afternoon, Lacy’s hasn’t stopped running and they’ve needed fast teammates like Randall Cobb to come in and try to chase him down, to avoid running himself to exhaustion.

The team says the will implement the device during mandatory sessions throughout the offseason. Assuming he can stay under 400lbs, the Packers should be favored to come out of the NFC North once again.


  1. It funny beacuse Eddy Lacy a colored guy and those hamburger’s are paid for with MY hard-earned tax dollar’s. It a shame that colored’s allowed to even breathe. Their all so discusting and the all criminal’s AND dirty mooslim’s