CHARLOTTE, NC – Panthers fans gathered to in uptown Charlotte today ready for their long journey ahead. Armed with their bandwagons, along with numerous sacks of cured meat, veggies, fruit and nuts, thousands and thousands of fans are on their way back to their hometown Seattle.
The journey back comes after a failed mission to Carolina to which they took their bandwagons to early on around Week 4 of this NFL season, when the Seahawks began struggling and the Panthers were off to a rolling start. Looking for new pastures and to escape the so called deadly ‘Adderall Disease’ of Seattle plaguing the population, ushered on by the gloomy, cold and wet climate of the town.
Now quarantined, the disease has seemingly killed off most of the sickened, and deemed safe by explorers to return back to. With Thomas Rawls wellness returning from a knee injury while trying to save his oxen from drowning in a river, and lad Russell Wilson at the top of his butter churning game, the bandwagon is back on it’s way to Seattle, Washington, taking the Oregon Trail.
Oh yeah, and Jennifer just got measles. DAMMIT JENNIFER.