Giants Sign Draymond Green As Kicker In Replacement Of Suspended Josh Brown

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – The Giants found themselves amounts the whirlwind that is the cloud of domestic violence hanging over the NFL.

Last week, reports surfaced that their kicker Josh Brown had only been suspended 1 game for allegedly abusing his wife over 20 times for the course of months, including while she was pregnant.

This came during the same time Tom Brady had been suspended 4 games for suspension of deflating football and 3 games for Le’Veon Bell, for missing a drug test.

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The NFL issued a statement explaining the actions taken against Brown included why he was only suspended a single game for such a seemingly horrendous string of acts, claiming they couldn’t gather enough information to punish Brown for more noting Brown’s wife was uncooperative with the NFL’s investigation.

A move being heavy criticized now, the Giants in fact knew about the acts before resigning Brown to a 2-year deal this offseason.

The team held tryouts for a kicker to fill in for Brown for their Week 1 game versus the Cowboys, yet couldn’t find anyone who could knock it through the uprights consistently.

According to those inside the room where the team’s front office was discussing possible options, the television was playing highlights from Sunday’s gold medal game featuring the United States. A light bulb went off in GM Jerry Reese’s head.

“That’s it,” he said. “Draymond!” Reese reportedly rushed out of the room and began dialing. Before lunch, the team has contacted Green and was able to get him on a flight to New Jersey, where without any tryout, was officially introduced as the team’s new temporary starting kicker.

“I mean we’ve all seen enough highlight tape of this guy’s kicks. His foot-to-ball coordination is deadly accurate.” Reese told reporters. “And most importantly, he can’t get suspended kicking balls in this league.”

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Green also spoke to the media, jokingly telling them room her would picture the footballs as LeBron’s junk for extra points and Steven Adam’s nuts for long distance field goals.

When asked by a reporter on the recklessness of his nature possibly costing his team the game like in the NBA Fnals, Green said, “Well it is the Cowboys we’re playing right? I mean how bad can I possible mess up [that that happens].”

The NBA star will reportedly play until he must return to Warriors training camp. Although there is no official word on the contract negotiations,  the deal is expected to be in the ballpark of a 2-month, $1.2 million dollar deal.