BREAKING: Falcons Trade Matt Ryan For Eli Manning After Brady Clinches Super Bowl Berth

By
Randy Oliver
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ATLANTA, GA – NFL fans and insiders are stunned Sunday night after the Falcons have made an unprecedented move at an unprecedented time.

According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, coming off a 44-21 route of the Packers in the NFC title game, the Falcons have reportedly traded franchise QB Matt Ryan to the New York Giants in exchange for Eli Manning. That’s right, the presumptive league MVP for a guy who just learned to tie his shoes after mastering shapes & colors with all the off time since he lost to the Packers earlier in the playoffs.

“We felt like it was the right move,” Falcons head coach Dan Quinn told reporters. “We know Matt has been our team’s rock this year but we’re going all in this year, but as soon as we saw the Patriots up big on the Steelers, only one word ran through our minds. Brady.”

Patriots coach Bill Belichick was informed of the move by Mike Reiss shortly after the trophy ceremony in Foxboro, responding with, “shit” before whisking his team into the locker room, muttering “we’re screwed.”

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