Trump killed his assistant, Carolyn Gombell in 2000, reveals highest ever level source

In a shocking revelation, or should we say Revelations, President Donald J Trump killed his personal assistant Carolyn Gombell sometime in October 2000, the highest ranking source in the known Universe revealed today. In a series of tweets, God has gone on to say that Trump strangled her with his own tiny baby raccoon hands after he got her preggers. He then bribed then NYPD Police Chief Bernie Kierk to keep it quiet. God has urged the public that it is time to investigate.

The Most High then went on a twitter posting spree giving out many details about the torrid affair, even stating that Carolyn’s roommate was perhaps murdered instead of committing suicide by jumping in front of a large train.

Many others on Twitter have joined in on the fight to bring awareness, which is accordingly going to God’s plan. Who knew?


Which, in fact, it did. Its that God is on our side. This time.

Tony Woods has written for Daily Snark since 2012. He loves almonds, almond joy, and bringing joy to all through his love for basketball and sports in general as a writer.