Chicken Parm Sales See Dramatic Drop After Manning Retirement

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DENVER, CO – Peyton Manning’s retirement will take some getting used to.

The 18-season NFL great has suited up for each start of the previous 19 seasons, with a large sum of NFL fans not even been alive last time Manning was not playing in the NFL.

Unfortunately, other facets outside of football are seeing a change of scenery since Manning officially announced his retirement Sunday morning in Denver.

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The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) is reporting a dramatic slump in chicken parmesan sales in the end of the 1st quarter, just a week after Manning hung it up for good. Researchers are trying to find answers.

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They’re not sure at this point if the drop was caused by inflation of the popular Italian-American dish due to Manning’s Nationwide commercials, reinforcing viewers that it “tastes so good,” and then we’ve fallen back into a plateau which appears to be a slump or otherwise.