A Drunken Johnny Manziel Falls In Gorilla Exhibit, Zoo Opts Not To Shoot Primate

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NEW YORK CITY, NY – Another weird and head scratching story surfaced involving who else, Johnny Manziel this memorial day weekend. News broke that after missing a rondevu to helicopter to the Hamptons from the city for a Memorial Day get together, Johnny Manziel seemed to be missing in New York.

For a stretch of hours, nobody close to Manziel seemed to know the whereabouts of the former NFL quarterback.

This morning, at 9:16 am ET, calls flooded in of a man who had fallen into a gorilla exhibit at the Central Park Zoo. Confused, 911 operators initially thought the calls were a prank considering the incidents which occurred just 4 days earlier, involving a child falling into a primate exhibit at the Cincinnati Zoo, resulting in the 400-pound gorilla having to be shot to save the child. They were soon made aware that this was not mistaken claim nor a prank, and embarked on the short trip to the zoo.


When officials arrived, they came upon the Dangerous Animal Task Force (DAT), circled around the gorilla exhibit with zoo workers attempting to whisk on-looking patrons away.

Johnny Manziel was found inside the exhibit, apparenlty having fell inside the enclosure after stumbling through the zoo, “drunk and disorientated” according to witness reports.

“My husband and I saw this guy just stumbling out of a nightclub right into Central Park where we were walking. We tried to intercept him, which was easy, but then he ran off and now we’re seeing the same man had fallen into the gorilla enclosure.”

An Image taken of the situation by onlooker Debbie Norvel at 10:07 am, ET

The zoo decided not to shoot the 14-year-old 450lb. Silverback, noting his life was worth more than the human’s in this case.

After allegedly passing out on in the northwest side of the enclosure, likely due to his night of heavy drinking, or in Johnny Manziel’s words, “Monday,” the QB is, according to witness accounts, “naked and taunting the gorilla with a money gesture of sorts and with what appeared to be a Heisman pose.”

As of 12:14 am ET, zoo officials and NYCPD have no plans on harming the gorilla in order to save Manziel.

There is no word yet on when this situation will resolve, and people have actually gathered, with a pair or Cleveland residents on vacation noting, “This is more exciting than any Browns game.”

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