Roger Goodell Strips Patriots’ 2017 Draft Picks For Twitter NFL Hack

 

NEW YORK CITY, NY – The NFL’s social media team thought they were impenetrable. With the password ‘NFL123’ who could have ever hacked into their accounts. On Tuesday, the unthinkable happened.

Around noon, the NFL’s Twitter account was hacked on a foreign device, tweeting out what some of us wished was true, “We regret to inform our fans that our commissioner, Roger Goodell, has passed away, He was 57. #RIP’.

Scrambling once seeing the tweet the NfL quickly deleted it. Instead of doing the obvious and quickly changing the password to ‘NFL1234’, they figured they were in the clear. Minutes later, the hacker struck again, this time tweeting, “Oh, I said Roger Goodell has died. Don’t delete that tweet.” After that was promptly deleted, another one was sent out reading, “OK, OK, you amateur detectives win. Good job.”

The news quickly spread up to the apparently dead commissioner, who as soon as laying eyes on the information, squeezed his phone until he was white-knuckled, sweat beading on his now red forehead, and muttered…”Brrrraaadyyyy.”

Goodell quickly made some calls and with Ted Wells on speed dial, sent him over to Foxborough to investigate. 

The commissioner called a press conference at approximately 3:00pm ET in New York, where he would announced the repercussions of the incident. Gooddell began with a shocking proclamation that the New England Patriots would be confiscated of their 2017 first-round draft picks. He added, “Though the investigation conducted by Ted Wells and the following report showed he found practically no evidence that Mr. Brady and the Patriots were behind the hack, it is ‘more probable than not’ that they tweeted those tweets.” 

According to ESPN’s Mike Reiss, the Patriots will appeal.