BREAKING: Cleveland Browns Sign 10-Year-Old Kid With 153-1 Record In Madden As Head Coach

BEREA, OH – Just days after firing Hue Jackson, the Cleveland Browns have found their new head coach, and well, it’s a surprise.

After contracting an independent search firm to track down candidates from across the sports, the company and the team have landed on 10-year-old Billy Reader from Orlando, FL.While Reader has never played a single snap of organized football in his life, he does have unimpressive resume – on Madden.

“Billy’s only lost once playing his favorite video game,” team GM John Dorsey told the media in a press conference shortly after news broke. “Not only has the kid lost the same amount of times in his life than Hue lost just this week, he’s got the mental fortitude for the business.”


Billy reportedly gets told his mom is a whore on multiple occasions per day. Despite the trash talk, Reader has posted a 153-1 record all-time playing the popular game.

Though official contract details have yet to be disclosed, it’s been reported that Billy’s allowance will be raised from $15 a week to $110,000.

Reader reportedly beat out other candidates including Jeff Fisher, who considering the Browns would love to go 7-9 every year, was a favorite.

When asked by a reporter why the team didn’t sign the guy who handed Billy his only career loss, Dorsey responded with, “Shit, we didn’t really think of that…”